Always Changing, Always Challenging

Taking care of Alexis has been very hard lately. She has been having fits worse than her two year old sister. It doesn't help that she is 110 pounds and dead weight when she goes to the floor.

I have been struggling lately to connect with her.It seems as though she has lost her hearing. I did take her into the doctor's and she has two ear infections right now. Before that, however, I was already feeling unheard. She has had selective hearing for awhile now but this has gone over and above that. I will stand right in front of her and yell at the top of my lungs (because it is the third or fourth time trying to get a response)and she will just stare at me.

Maybe I wouldn't be so upset if she had always done this but she hasn't. Once upon a time I was able to have a conversation with her or was able to redirect her. For now those days are over. 

I pray every day that I will be able to reconnect with my daughter, that I will be able to parent with more Christ-like abilities, and that we will have peace in our home.

It was a lot easier to have just Alexis and to focus on just Alexis. I would not change having more children for anything. I get to know what it is like to have "normal" kids and to watch them discover life in ways Alexis never would have. Alexis also gets to have the opportunity to learn and grow as a person. Even though she is special needs, she still needs to be stretched as a person. Someone who learns how to be kind, loving and someone who will learn how to share.

In our faith we believe in a second ressurection when Christ comes to the Earth again and at that time we will all have perfect bodies. I think about that a lot. Will Alexis know who I am? Will I know who she is or recognize her? Will she be grateful for the struggles I had? Will she thank me for always pushing her in her challenged state? Will she be disapointed that I was angry with her sometimes? Would she have wanted me to do more?


It is beyond me now. I hope that all of this is good for something. I hope Alexis grows up a little bit more. I hope we survive the teenage years. I hope she knows that I love her.

School Year 2010-2011

Alexis started school this year with great excitement. That has turned into our normal morning routine of her not wanting to get up and fighting me when I bathe her. She has had a hard time adjusting to her new school and teacher. This year she is in the middle school which terrifies me. We have been in school for almost a month now and it seems that the bus is finally on a regular schedule. 

 

Cast Off

Wednesday morning Alexis got her cast taken off. It was traumatic for all the kids in the room. I had to hold her tightly so that the doctor could saw it off. She screamed and when I looked over at my other children they were screaming too. After wards Alexis' brother had a look of concern for a long time. After the x-ray, we found out that Alexis is a quick healer and only needs to wear a splint for another three weeks. No more horse riding until then.

Bathing has been made a lot easier. Eating isn't so messy. She just seems to still not want to use her arm. We will have to work on that.

Support

Alexis had her second outing with her worker (I don't remember the official title). She took Alexis out to the Humane Society. While there they worked on  Alexis not talking to strangers and not touching other people. Alexis had a good time. She bugged me all morning until it was time for her to go.

Last week was the first visit and the worker stayed in our home and played with Alexis so that they could get comfortable with each other. I was able to get the dishes done while they worked. I asked the worker what I am supposed to do during their time together and she told me whatever I wanted to do.

I am so thankful for all of the support that I have been given since Alexis was discovered to be Special Needs.

Last Day of School

Alexis had her last day of school last Thursday. Grandma Val picked her up from school and then Ellie, Mikey and I met them at Cici's for lunch to celebrate the day. Cici's is Lexi's favorite place to eat.

Sad News

Alexis broke her wrist over a week ago. She was at her horse riding therapy and fell of when the horse got spooked. She broke the rim of her helmet (glad that was on). She got a red cast that went up to her elbow. This last Friday we get a call from her teacher. Alexis had taken her arm out of the cast. Just pulled it off. That is not an easy thing to do.

So we took her in and she got a new cast that goes over her elbow. It is green with a pink candy stripe. She is having a hard time eating with utensils and bathing is a painful process for all (me) involved.

The summer is starting to be quite the adventure. School ends on Thursday. No one is really excited about that except for the teachers. Alexis loves going to school and I love having her go (I get peace during the day). I am going to have to work extra hard to not let her get bored so that she doesn't use torturing her siblings as entertainment.

I Will Share

A while ago I spent the whole month teaching the  lesson, "I Will Share" from the manual

"Behold Your Little Ones". It worked for a little while but has gotten worse since then. 

Alexis will take a toy from her younger siblings and tell them, "I will share." Of course her sharing is one sided. Today was really bad. Alexis did not want her sister to have any toys. I can only take screaming for so long from anyone.

I know that they love each other and have good times. It just feels that lately that is far and in between. 

 

I got a note from school saying that Alexis' behaviors were a yellow for the day because she was eating her classmates' food. I don't know what to tell her teachers because I struggle with that one too. Apparently it is more one sided "I will share."